Planning a Memorial Service

Among the many issues at hand when a loved one dies there are two important ones to decide: planning for the timely disposition of the body and commemorating the life that was lived. When you can separate those two activities, you have a great many more options, both in kind and in cost.
A "funeral" service is with the body present and is usually planned within a few days of death, sometimes in great haste. A "memorial" service (without the body) can be delayed as long as you want, to meet the convenience or needs of the family. Perhaps it makes sense to have the service at the summer home of the deceased when all were planning to gather anyway. Scheduling the event in two or three weeks lets out-of-town guests take advantage of the 14-day advance booking discount on airline tickets. Or perhaps you will want to wait for the survivor of a car crash to get out of the hospital. By not feeling pressured to have a service right away, there is time for thoughtful planning. A memorial mass is now accepted by the Catholic church.




Multiple services may be appropriate in some situations--a simple graveside service for the immediate family at the cemetery "back home," followed by a memorial service in the community where the deceased more recently lived. Or one service for co-workers and another for community and friends.

Many funeral directors will be glad to assist with memorial service planning whether using the funeral home location or not, but there will be a charge for such services. However, many families have found it therapeutic and loving to take charge without the help of a funeral director. Having something to do takes away the sense of helplessness survivors often feel at a time of death.