People do expect a wake for some reason, particularly if they've travelled some distance to be at a funeral.
The wake needs to be appropriate to the deceased and also to those likely to attend the funeral. A few pounds behind the bar at your local pub might be fine if Great Uncle George was a regular there but might not go down so well if his one living sister is a tea-totaller. In an instance like this, you may have to have two wakes to satisfy everyone.
If you have a large enough house and can face the preparations, you may want to invite everyone back to your place after the funeral. This can be problematical as you have no idea how many people will come, but if you are smart about the catering, all will be well.
Standard funeral fare is sandwiches and savoury nibbles plus maybe some biscuits or cakes. You can make it as plain or exotic as you wish and can do a full buffet if you want to. Try to get some friends round to help you make sandwiches. Decide on a variety of fillings and set up a production line. This way will be quick and organised. Bear in mind that you may have vegetarians there so don't forget egg or cheese as well as ham and tuna.
Savouries such as mini-quiches or pizzas and sausage rolls always go down well. Buy them ready made and frozen. That way, you can pop more in the oven as required and the rest won't go to waste if they're still frozen.
To drink, some people will expect tea so get someone to man the teapot. Others will accept a small sherry and others still will use this gathering to pour as much beer or scotch down as they can get away with. Unlike a normal party, however, most people will only stay for a couple of drinks, so you don't have to buy up the whole off licence. On the other hand, if you can get a sale or return arrangement with your local shop, you can cover all eventualities and quantities.
Make sure that you have plenty of cups, tea plates, paper napkins and glasses.
If you don't want to cater at home, then a pub is an ideal venue. However, even if you're not asking for food, do forewarn the landlord. Rolling up with 20 or 30 people and expecting there to be sufficient bar staff on duty just isn't on. Actually, you may want to get the pub to provide some food. Again, sandwiches and savouries are a good idea, particularly to soak up alcohol. Ask the pub if they'll provide tea and coffee too as not everyone will want an alcoholic drink in the middle of the day.
Follow these few simple rules and your loved one should have the send off that they envisaged.
Michael Russell
Your Independent guide to Funerals
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