Why Do People Visit Gravesites?
By Olga Moe
When people ask me if I have been to visit my parent’s grave lately, I ask them, “Why would I want to do that?” The way I see it, it’s not really where they are. Sure, I communicate with them all the time, but I don’t need to take a ferry into Seattle and kneel on my aching arthritic knees on the wet ground to talk to their physical remains. I think it would be a pretty grim comfort to me, if that were the only option I had. Doesn’t the spirit go on living apart from the physical incarnation?
Yes, I think that funerals are fine. They provide a transition for both the souls who have lost their loved ones, as well as for the departed themselves. When we gather by a casket and everyone watches it be interred in the earth, we have a ritualistic chance to witness separation of the perishable physical body from the non perishable spirit. Tribute is paid, and the flesh life of that particular person is lovingly released from further responsibility. The spirit of that person though, is still alive and as close to you as your breath.
Departed souls, unless something unusual or traumatic has occurred, are typically present at their own funeral. This soul is still getting used to being separated from the body to which it was committed for a lifetime. It is bidding adieu, and hovering, because soon its energy will be more committed to an agenda other than the earth bound one it has just completed. The body was earth bound, the coffin is earth bound the two are joined and the cycle is complete. Returning to this site in order to communicate with that disembodied soul however, is like carrying around an empty bag when you are hungry because at one time it held cookies.
To someone who finds comfort in visiting the grave of a departed loved one, I say go for it. Like all things spiritual, there are gradations of understanding. If a person needs physical props to comprehend the non-physical, then that is fine. We are still being provided with a vehicle for communication. To those who are more in tune with the spirit world, I am happy for you because you are feeling less pain of separation.
The important word here is “communicate”. Once we comprehend that we are doing business on a much larger, all-inclusive playing arena, we discover new attitudes about our earth life right now. We get a greater sense of purpose for why we are temporarily here. We feel buoyed, because we are assured that the universe is not going to kick us out of our home.
We understand finally, that we don’t go anywhere because we are already here. Time won’t change things, because time is linear and we have been released from the constraints of linear time. We simply are right now and we are forever. This simple knowledge gives me peace.
Olga Moe lives on an island in the Puget Sound. She is known mostly for her fiction contributions to literary e-zines which can be found at http://zelda2530.tripod.com/
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