Funerals - Planning The Details

By Michael Russell

In our previous article, we talked about the basic decisions which have to be made when planning a funeral. We covered the venue, whether or not the service would be religious and the choice of coffin and interim resting place for the body.

To begin, we'll stay with the funeral director. A decent one will be guiding you though the maze of choices you have to make with the minimum of fuss.




You will need to tell him whether you want his staff to carry the coffin or whether you have male friends or relatives who wish to do this. In any event, the undertaker should provide sufficient manpower in case any of the bearers don't feel up to the task on the day.

You must decide what funeral cars you want, apart from the hearse. You don't have to have any, of course, as these add to the cost quite considerably, but if would be quite normal to only have a car for the immediate family of the deceased. These cars usually hold about six passengers.

Announcing the funeral in the press can be tricky. In these unfortunate times, criminals often take advantage of a householder's absence at a funeral to burgle their house. If you do want to announce the funeral, it may be as well to ask a friend to house sit while you are out.

Flowers are another difficult one. People like to send flowers but they soon fade and you may choose for people to donate what they would have spent on flowers to a charity of your choice. The undertaker should administer this and keep a record of those who donated so that you can send thank you letters. Normally, people will quite understand if you ask for family flowers only or just have one large arrangement for the coffin.

Finally, if there's to be a burial, you will need a memorial stone of some kind. If there will be a cremation, you may have the opportunity to adopt a rose, have the ashes buried or scattered or have an entry in a memorial book.

Away from the funeral director, you will need to meet or, at the very least, speak to whomever is going to officiate at the service, if any. This is relatively easy if you've chosen your local church but if there will be a cremation and you don't want the duty priest, you will need to ask your vicar or whoever, whether they are able to attend another venue.

You will have to provide some detail of the deceased so that the official can say appropriate words. Don't forget to advise what their preferred form of address was. For example if the deceased was called Jennifer but always insisted that it was shortened to Jen, tell whoever is conducting the service.




You may want someone other than the official to provide a eulogy or read a poem or whatever but don't forget to check that they are willing to do it. You will also need to choose music. For a church service this will be one or two hymns and maybe another favourite piece. Cremations are usually so time limited that one hymn or piece of music will probably be all that there's time for.