Personal Touches

A service, such as a memorial service that recognizes that a person has lived and has now died can be helpful to family members and friends if there is something present such as an object that recalls an interest or hobby of the deceased or a group of pictures taken throughout many years. Highlights of one's occupation or ethnic background can hold special meaning for those present because of the remembering that is stimulated. In this way, friends and family may reflect on a loved one's life, as well as his or her death.



A memorial service is not unlike other ceremonies that distinguish our lives. Baptisms, graduations, bar mitzvahs, and weddings all serve to recognize a significant event in a person's life. The funeral ceremony provides acknowledgement of a person's life and offers loved ones a chance to say a last goodbye.

The type of memorialization usually influences the decision regarding final disposition of cremated remains. Just as ceremonies offer value to the living, so does establishing a permanent memorial. It serves as a focal point for the remembrance of a loved one and can help in overcoming grief,

Usually cremated remains are placed in some type of permanent receptacle or memorial urn before being committed to a final resting place. The urn can be buried in a family plot or urn garden. A marker or headstone may be used to mark the site. Sometimes the urn is kept in the home. The urn can also be placed in a memorial niche at a cemetery or church where it may be viewed through a protective glass or sealed behind a memorial plaque.

Some cemeteries have special gardens where cremated remains may be scattered. In areas where it is permitted by law, cremated remains may be scattered over land or water. However, this decision should be carefully considered because the act of scattering remains is an irreversible decision. If no permanent memorial site is established, survivors may later experience regret, feeling that the bond is broken forever. The emotional value of establishing a permanent memorial site is worthy of consideration. It might also be possible to plant a tree or flowers in a significant place to serve as a memorial to the loved one who has died.