Tell children about dead

We should not believe that children do not understand death. They are aware of both their own and other people's mortality. Consequently, we should never lie to children about death. Their necessities are similar to those described in our chapter 'Human Needs'. The only differences are caused by the fact that they are emotionally less mature than adults.


Photo: Jake Matthews

Helping Children Cope With Death
by Tiffany Provost

Death is never easy to cope with, but it is very hard for kids. There are many ways in which you can help your child cope with the loss of someone close to them. Here are tips on how to discuss death with your young child.

Be forthright. Children are more capable of understanding and accepting death than many might think. It's not necessary to "sugar-coat" the truth. Try telling them exactly what happened, that Grandpa died, instead of using terms such as 'passed on', 'departed', or 'went to heaven'. You should say the correct term, "death", to avoid confusing the youngster. You must use the right terminology so that the child understands what death is.


Photo: SammyJ1020

Practice the skill of careful listening. After a child learns that a loved one has died, it is important that you make yourself available to listen to his or her thoughts and feelings. It may take some time before children are ready to discuss their losses. Eventually, they will want to share their feelings with you, and you need to be prepared for this.

Tell the truth. Honesty and straight answers are necessary when the right time comes to discuss death with your children. Often for youngsters the first time they deal with a death is very baffling. They will ask about the reason the person departed, the reason for death, and what will happen next. Once more, don't turn the question into something trivial by giving back some kind of a pat answer. A child will easily understand the meaning of death if you approach the subject with analogies that are simple to understand. You shouldn't go overboard with details, yet provide them with sufficient information to put their mind at ease (be sure that the child's age is taken into consideration before deciding about the details you will reveal about death). This is a challenge they will have for life, so it's best if they understand death now. It is possible to be of assistance by providing useful answers.

Assist the child in the grieving process. After the child learns what has happened to her loved one, she will sob in her own way. Right now you need to just let her feel comfortable and express her feelings as she sees fit. Some children will show their emotions through creating illustrations. Some kids might write a story, talk, or even play a musical instrument to express their feelings. Do not disturb or guide a child when it is trying to express grief. It is healthy if it is left up to them.


Photo: AL Gator

Allow the child to decide whether or not to attend the funeral. She may not be comfortable attending the funeral (or other family customs that mark the passing of a close person). It ought to be up to her whether to attend or not. Help the child to decide by explaining why it's important for everyone to have a funeral and what actually occurs at a funeral. Children will feel comfortable attending the funeral if they realize that it is a way to honor a loved one's life. While you may have to talk the child into accompanying you, a funeral can actually help your child come to terms with the death of someone who they were close to.

Tiffany Provost writes about dealing with grief and family and relationships tips for HowToDoThings.com.

Planning Funeral Arrangements

Funeral planning is a difficult process involving emotional stress, financial decision making and uncertainty. You may have a clear idea of your wishes, or you may want to seek the guidance of family, clergy, or some other adviser, in addition to a funeral director, in making your decisions. Without some guidance, the options and information surrounding funerals and arrangement planning can seem overwhelming at an already complicated time. If you want to ensure that your wishes are carried out, and are comfortable doing so, you and your loved ones can plan for your funeral and body disposition while you are still healthy enough to participate.


Photo: craptastic

Some Helpful Tips on Planning Funeral Arrangements

Planning funeral arrangements are never easy, as it involves pain, mourning after the loss and the discomfort of preparing for the family and loved ones left behind. In this article, I will share some tips regarding funeral arrangements and some facts, too.

1. As death takes place in the family, the primary instinct of most people is to call their family doctor. True enough, the family physician (or any alternative if necessary) would be in service of, and confirm the fact of death, and will then complete the death certificate if required.
2. Bear in mind that when it comes to funeral arrangements, there are 2 reasons why funerals are necessary and imperative. The first one is for technical reasons. It also enables that the body is cremated or officially buried. Then, the second reason is that it helps the family adjust to death. More importantly, to remember that funerals are actually for the living and not for the dead.
3. Funeral arrangements also include floral tributes which could either be delivered to the residence or the funeral home. If sent to the latter, the cards are detached from the floral tributes and must be given to the family to recognize who sent the tributes. On the other hand, if they are delivered to the residence, normally, a tiny vase or a flower pot displaying an individual's continuous empathy and compassion for the family and the ones left behind is suggested.
   
   The florist also sets an identification card on the floral tribute.
4. Take note that in funeral arrangements, additional funeral services could also involve other preparations of the body, embalming and the transfer of the remains from the place of death to the funeral home. Also, some equipment and services can comprise the use of the flower car and the hearse, the funeral ceremony and many others.
5. When you have a friend who is mourning over the loss of a loved one, if you want to help, it also means that you too, as a friend would share some of the pain and sorrow.
   
   You can help and support your friend by assisting in funeral arrangements. A good time to visit a mourning friend is after about 1 or 2 weeks. It is highly essential to keep up constant correspondence with your pal two to three months after the loss. This kind of understanding and compassion involve a special kind of bonding and friendship. Your friend also needs you to share, cry, talk, bring to mind the pain, the loss, or whatever experiences or sentiments or even just to sit side-by-side in complete silence with you. It's your presence or "being there" quality that counts.
6. The children must also be given the chance to attend funerals-especially that of the family and close relatives. Nevertheless, kids must not be forced to go. It's always supportive that it should be explained what to expect at this kind of event before the child is requested to settle on if they like to partake in the experience.

Photo: A Different Perspective

The author of this article Amy Twain is a Self Improvement Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Amy recently published a new home study course on how to boost your Self Esteem overnight. More info about this "Quick-Action Plan for A More Confident You" is available at http://www.fabulousselfesteem.com/.

Purchase the Funeral Casket

Planning a funeral can be a very difficult task, especially considering the circumstances. When something as tragic as a family member or friend passes away, the last thing you want to deal with is planning the funeral.

Where Can a Funeral Casket be Purchased?
By Aiken Smith

When an individual passes away, they are generally buried in a casket. Funeral caskets can be purchased directly from the casket makers or from a funeral home.

Typically individuals purchase a casket from a funeral home. Funeral homes, also commonly referred to as funeral parlors, are designed to help families cope and arrange a memorial service for their deceased loved one. Depending on the selected funeral home, many offer assistance for all of the planning stages. This may also include selecting a casket.

A funeral home may offer a wide selection of funeral caskets. Many locations will have their selection on hand for viewing or in a catalog display. Depending on the number of caskets available, there is usually a wide selection to choose from. Funeral caskets are made from various different materials. They can also come with many different designs or artwork, if preferred. For example, a casket could have crosses, hearts, angels, or other peaceful or religious ark work carved in. There are also caskets that come with detachable pieces, allowing family members to keep this as a memento.

Funeral caskets are important because they will be seen at memorial services. The deceased individual will be buried in it and it will be the last memory that many friends and family will have of the deceased. Selecting a funeral casket is a decision that many family members must all agree on.




Another common place to purchase a casket is directly from the maker. This is often done if a casket needs to be custom made or personalized. Funeral homes also purchase caskets from the manufacture. Since they will generally purchase a large amount of caskets at one time, they are typically given a wholesale casket price. This means that they will be purchasing their caskets at a price lower than normal. By purchasing a wholesale casket lot, many funeral homes are able to offer their quality caskets a reasonable prices to their customers.

A customized funeral casket directly from the maker will likely have to be ordered in advance. It is not uncommon for individuals to make burial arrangements ahead of time, especially if they are sick. More and more elderly individuals are trying to plan out their funerals and other final expenses. This is done to help relive the financial burden on remaining family members. Although it is typically common to order a customized casket in advance, there are many casket makers who will rush an order. This feature is nice; however, it will likely cost a large amount of additional money.

No matter when a casket is purchased, there are great deals available on quality funeral caskets. Although it is a difficult decision for family members, there are many who are selecting a casket based solely on price. Thanks to wholesale casket companies, many funeral homes are able to offer their fine caskets at discounted prices. Finding the perfect casket may be expensive, stressful, or time consuming task, but it can be one of the most important decisions in an individualís life.

http://www.funeralmarket.com/cas_history.php = Aiken Smith is a writer for Funeral Market where you can find burial urns and funeral caskets of high quality at discount prices.

Sagada hanging coffins

On the way to Ambasing, one of Sagada's 19 barangays, limestone karts cliffs dotted with pine trees dominate the landscape as seen in the this photograph. On these cliffs, perched precariously on a wedge, four or five coffins are arranged in a pile. The oldest one is more than a century old; the latest addition was put into place decades ago. It belonged to a lady from Demang (another Sagada barangay) who happens to be a great-aunt of this webmaster.



In similar places around Sagada, one may find these "hanging" coffins. They are usually in groups, some neatly piled, others randomly stacked. All found in places seemingly impossible to reach. Places that can be touched only by mother nature.

These hanging coffins will be there for as long as the elements would allow them. They're precious tokens from a fabled past... adding mystic to an already mystifying place.


Photo: Inkblots™

The coffins are found in places that are difficult to reach and only touched by the elements of nature. The coffins are made by the elderly before their demise. If they are weak of suffering from major ailments their children or other close relatives undertake the work of building the coffin.

The practice entails placing the bodies into a comfortable position of the coffin. Bones are often cracked and broken with the completion of the process. After the dead bodies are put inside the coffins, they are brought to the cliffs and are kept near the coffins of their ancestors. Make sure that you have a guide, as the roads are often difficult to traverse. Tourists have also taken some of the remains as souvenirs.

source: sagada-igorot.com, asiarooms.com

The Funeral costs

The funeral costs vary greatly from one funeral director to another. Because it is always good for multiple quotes to compare costs and funeral services. In general, funeral directors can price all the costs. Make funeral arrangements, a complex mixture of emotions for most of us. Many funeral directors or funeral directors in the way you can tell a perfectly legitimate buried in many options by prices.

Deeper Down Deeper in Debt - Funerals
By Kacy Carr

The last goodbye at a funeral leaves you reminiscing about the good times, also leaving a trail of fond memories of the dearly departed. But after a funeral you find that it can also leave a huge debt hanging over your head.


Photo: Chuckumentary

The cost to bury a loved one can run into the thousands for a decent burial? What is a decent burial? What is the difference between decent and not so decent? The mind boggles.

For that extra few bob does the coffin of the decent funeral have a more highly polished finish. Does the deceased have more words said at the service? Well let me tell you a little secret. Blurred vision/bloodshot eyes hamper the sight of the congregation, with all the crying it is hard to focus on any casket.

Words spoken at the mass are rarely heard. Too many other thoughts overpower the emotional sentiments, and one is worry on how the bill is going to be paid. This is not the day for extravagance; imagine going to the theatre to watch a show but the curtains never open, so what is the point for all that expense.

Decent and the not so decent goodbye
Mourners are there to share in your sorrow not to pass judgment on how many brass handles surround the coffin or what hymns are sung.

With not knowing the mechanics behind a funeral, many families find themselves in a financial situation where they are faced with the heartache of trying to make ends meet.

In their time of grief, the best of everything is chosen for their dearly departed which comes at a price that seems affordable at the time, till reality sets in where the departed was the breadwinner.

Life insurance is a necessity while in the land of the living; it can help lighten the load for those left behind after a bereavement

Unfortunately we have all experienced a loss at some time in our lives but should you be unfortunate enough at this present time be going through the experience of losing someone you love, why not call a friend or member of the family to act on your behalf in arranging the funeral? This will be less of a burden for you to cope with, while you adapt yourself in coming to terms with the death

Consider cutting funeral costs by

Less brass/save cash

Have the service shortened.

Funeral cars settle for 1, the hearse.

A family get together at the house, no big wake.

A small posy says farewell just the same as any wreath.

It is how you say goodbye that matters, silent thoughts and memories can give the dearly departed the best send off ever.

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