Mourn for YeYe

Tell children about dead

2009-06-07T01:02:00.000-07:00

We should not believe that children do not understand death. They are aware of both their own and other people's mortality. Consequently, we should never lie to children about death. Their necessities are similar to those described in our chapter 'Human Needs'. The only differences are caused by the fact that they are emotionally less mature than adults.

Photo: Jake Matthews

Helping Children Cope With Death
by Tiffany Provost

Death is never easy to cope with, but it is very hard for kids. There are many ways in which you can help your child cope with the loss of someone close to them. Here are tips on how to discuss death with your young child.

Be forthright. Children are more capable of understanding and accepting death than many might think. It's not necessary to "sugar-coat" the truth. Try telling them exactly what happened, that Grandpa died, instead of using terms such as 'passed on', 'departed', or 'went to heaven'. You should say the correct term, "death", to avoid confusing the youngster. You must use the right terminology so that the child understands what death is.

Photo: SammyJ1020

Practice the skill of careful listening. After a child learns that a loved one has died, it is important that you make yourself available to listen to his or her thoughts and feelings. It may take some time before children are ready to discuss their losses. Eventually, they will want to share their feelings with you, and you need to be prepared for this.

Tell the truth. Honesty and straight answers are necessary when the right time comes to discuss death with your children. Often for youngsters the first time they deal with a death is very baffling. They will ask about the reason the person departed, the reason for death, and what will happen next. Once more, don't turn the question into something trivial by giving back some kind of a pat answer. A child will easily understand the meaning of death if you approach the subject with analogies that are simple to understand. You shouldn't go overboard with details, yet provide them with sufficient information to put their mind at ease (be sure that the child's age is taken into consideration before deciding about the details you will reveal about death). This is a challenge they will have for life, so it's best if they understand death now. It is possible to be of assistance by providing useful answers.

Assist the child in the grieving process. After the child learns what has happened to her loved one, she will sob in her own way. Right now you need to just let her feel comfortable and express her feelings as she sees fit. Some children will show their emotions through creating illustrations. Some kids might write a story, talk, or even play a musical instrument to express their feelings. Do not disturb or guide a child when it is trying to express grief. It is healthy if it is left up to them.

Photo: AL Gator

Allow the child to decide whether or not to attend the funeral. She may not be comfortable attending the funeral (or other family customs that mark the passing of a close person). It ought to be up to her whether to attend or not. Help the child to decide by explaining why it's important for everyone to have a funeral and what actually occurs at a funeral. Children will feel comfortable attending the funeral if they realize that it is a way to honor a loved one's life. While you may have to talk the child into accompanying you, a funeral can actually help your child come to terms with the death of someone who they were close to.

Tiffany Provost writes about dealing with grief and family and relationships tips for HowToDoThings.com.

Planning Funeral Arrangements

2009-05-07T00:34:00.000-07:00

Funeral planning is a difficult process involving emotional stress, financial decision making and uncertainty. You may have a clear idea of your wishes, or you may want to seek the guidance of family, clergy, or some other adviser, in addition to a funeral director, in making your decisions. Without some guidance, the options and information surrounding funerals and arrangement planning can seem overwhelming at an already complicated time. If you want to ensure that your wishes are carried out, and are comfortable doing so, you and your loved ones can plan for your funeral and body disposition while you are still healthy enough to participate.

Photo: craptastic

Some Helpful Tips on Planning Funeral Arrangements

Planning funeral arrangements are never easy, as it involves pain, mourning after the loss and the discomfort of preparing for the family and loved ones left behind. In this article, I will share some tips regarding funeral arrangements and some facts, too.

As death takes place in the family, the primary instinct of most people is to call their family doctor. True enough, the family physician (or any alternative if necessary) would be in service of, and confirm the fact of death, and will then complete the death certificate if required.
Bear in mind that when it comes to funeral arrangements, there are 2 reasons why funerals are necessary and imperative. The first one is for technical reasons. It also enables that the body is cremated or officially buried. Then, the second reason is that it helps the family adjust to death. More importantly, to remember that funerals are actually for the living and not for the dead.
Funeral arrangements also include floral tributes which could either be delivered to the residence or the funeral home. If sent to the latter, the cards are detached from the floral tributes and must be given to the family to recognize who sent the tributes. On the other hand, if they are delivered to the residence, normally, a tiny vase or a flower pot displaying an individual's continuous empathy and compassion for the family and the ones left behind is suggested.

The florist also sets an identification card on the floral tribute.
Take note that in funeral arrangements, additional funeral services could also involve other preparations of the body, embalming and the transfer of the remains from the place of death to the funeral home. Also, some equipment and services can comprise the use of the flower car and the hearse, the funeral ceremony and many others.
When you have a friend who is mourning over the loss of a loved one, if you want to help, it also means that you too, as a friend would share some of the pain and sorrow.

You can help and support your friend by assisting in funeral arrangements. A good time to visit a mourning friend is after about 1 or 2 weeks. It is highly essential to keep up constant correspondence with your pal two to three months after the loss. This kind of understanding and compassion involve a special kind of bonding and friendship. Your friend also needs you to share, cry, talk, bring to mind the pain, the loss, or whatever experiences or sentiments or even just to sit side-by-side in complete silence with you. It's your presence or "being there" quality that counts.
The children must also be given the chance to attend funerals-especially that of the family and close relatives. Nevertheless, kids must not be forced to go. It's always supportive that it should be explained what to expect at this kind of event before the child is requested to settle on if they like to partake in the experience.

Photo: A Different Perspective

The author of this article Amy Twain is a Self Improvement Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Amy recently published a new home study course on how to boost your Self Esteem overnight. More info about this "Quick-Action Plan for A More Confident You" is available at http://www.fabulousselfesteem.com/.

Purchase the Funeral Casket

2009-04-11T04:30:00.000-07:00

Planning a funeral can be a very difficult task, especially considering the circumstances. When something as tragic as a family member or friend passes away, the last thing you want to deal with is planning the funeral.

Where Can a Funeral Casket be Purchased?
By Aiken Smith

When an individual passes away, they are generally buried in a casket. Funeral caskets can be purchased directly from the casket makers or from a funeral home.

Typically individuals purchase a casket from a funeral home. Funeral homes, also commonly referred to as funeral parlors, are designed to help families cope and arrange a memorial service for their deceased loved one. Depending on the selected funeral home, many offer assistance for all of the planning stages. This may also include selecting a casket.

A funeral home may offer a wide selection of funeral caskets. Many locations will have their selection on hand for viewing or in a catalog display. Depending on the number of caskets available, there is usually a wide selection to choose from. Funeral caskets are made from various different materials. They can also come with many different designs or artwork, if preferred. For example, a casket could have crosses, hearts, angels, or other peaceful or religious ark work carved in. There are also caskets that come with detachable pieces, allowing family members to keep this as a memento.

Funeral caskets are important because they will be seen at memorial services. The deceased individual will be buried in it and it will be the last memory that many friends and family will have of the deceased. Selecting a funeral casket is a decision that many family members must all agree on.

Another common place to purchase a casket is directly from the maker. This is often done if a casket needs to be custom made or personalized. Funeral homes also purchase caskets from the manufacture. Since they will generally purchase a large amount of caskets at one time, they are typically given a wholesale casket price. This means that they will be purchasing their caskets at a price lower than normal. By purchasing a wholesale casket lot, many funeral homes are able to offer their quality caskets a reasonable prices to their customers.

A customized funeral casket directly from the maker will likely have to be ordered in advance. It is not uncommon for individuals to make burial arrangements ahead of time, especially if they are sick. More and more elderly individuals are trying to plan out their funerals and other final expenses. This is done to help relive the financial burden on remaining family members. Although it is typically common to order a customized casket in advance, there are many casket makers who will rush an order. This feature is nice; however, it will likely cost a large amount of additional money.

No matter when a casket is purchased, there are great deals available on quality funeral caskets. Although it is a difficult decision for family members, there are many who are selecting a casket based solely on price. Thanks to wholesale casket companies, many funeral homes are able to offer their fine caskets at discounted prices. Finding the perfect casket may be expensive, stressful, or time consuming task, but it can be one of the most important decisions in an individualís life.

http://www.funeralmarket.com/cas_history.php = Aiken Smith is a writer for Funeral Market where you can find burial urns and funeral caskets of high quality at discount prices.

Sagada hanging coffins

2009-03-19T21:07:00.000-07:00

On the way to Ambasing, one of Sagada's 19 barangays, limestone karts cliffs dotted with pine trees dominate the landscape as seen in the this photograph. On these cliffs, perched precariously on a wedge, four or five coffins are arranged in a pile. The oldest one is more than a century old; the latest addition was put into place decades ago. It belonged to a lady from Demang (another Sagada barangay) who happens to be a great-aunt of this webmaster.

In similar places around Sagada, one may find these "hanging" coffins. They are usually in groups, some neatly piled, others randomly stacked. All found in places seemingly impossible to reach. Places that can be touched only by mother nature.

These hanging coffins will be there for as long as the elements would allow them. They're precious tokens from a fabled past... adding mystic to an already mystifying place.

Photo: Inkblots™

The coffins are found in places that are difficult to reach and only touched by the elements of nature. The coffins are made by the elderly before their demise. If they are weak of suffering from major ailments their children or other close relatives undertake the work of building the coffin.

The practice entails placing the bodies into a comfortable position of the coffin. Bones are often cracked and broken with the completion of the process. After the dead bodies are put inside the coffins, they are brought to the cliffs and are kept near the coffins of their ancestors. Make sure that you have a guide, as the roads are often difficult to traverse. Tourists have also taken some of the remains as souvenirs.

source: sagada-igorot.com, asiarooms.com

The Funeral costs

2009-03-11T01:57:00.000-07:00

The funeral costs vary greatly from one funeral director to another. Because it is always good for multiple quotes to compare costs and funeral services. In general, funeral directors can price all the costs. Make funeral arrangements, a complex mixture of emotions for most of us. Many funeral directors or funeral directors in the way you can tell a perfectly legitimate buried in many options by prices.

Deeper Down Deeper in Debt - Funerals
By Kacy Carr

The last goodbye at a funeral leaves you reminiscing about the good times, also leaving a trail of fond memories of the dearly departed. But after a funeral you find that it can also leave a huge debt hanging over your head.

Photo: Chuckumentary

The cost to bury a loved one can run into the thousands for a decent burial? What is a decent burial? What is the difference between decent and not so decent? The mind boggles.

For that extra few bob does the coffin of the decent funeral have a more highly polished finish. Does the deceased have more words said at the service? Well let me tell you a little secret. Blurred vision/bloodshot eyes hamper the sight of the congregation, with all the crying it is hard to focus on any casket.

Words spoken at the mass are rarely heard. Too many other thoughts overpower the emotional sentiments, and one is worry on how the bill is going to be paid. This is not the day for extravagance; imagine going to the theatre to watch a show but the curtains never open, so what is the point for all that expense.

Decent and the not so decent goodbye
Mourners are there to share in your sorrow not to pass judgment on how many brass handles surround the coffin or what hymns are sung.

With not knowing the mechanics behind a funeral, many families find themselves in a financial situation where they are faced with the heartache of trying to make ends meet.

In their time of grief, the best of everything is chosen for their dearly departed which comes at a price that seems affordable at the time, till reality sets in where the departed was the breadwinner.

Life insurance is a necessity while in the land of the living; it can help lighten the load for those left behind after a bereavement

Unfortunately we have all experienced a loss at some time in our lives but should you be unfortunate enough at this present time be going through the experience of losing someone you love, why not call a friend or member of the family to act on your behalf in arranging the funeral? This will be less of a burden for you to cope with, while you adapt yourself in coming to terms with the death

Consider cutting funeral costs by

Less brass/save cash

Have the service shortened.

Funeral cars settle for 1, the hearse.

A family get together at the house, no big wake.

A small posy says farewell just the same as any wreath.

It is how you say goodbye that matters, silent thoughts and memories can give the dearly departed the best send off ever.

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It is very hard to come to terms with losing someone close, believe me I know. People handle grief in different ways. Do you need to talk if you feel you need counselling check my information page at http://www.benidormbeaches.com

Send online Gift for this Valentine's Day

2009-01-31T21:06:00.000-08:00

This Valentine’s Day, amaze and entice your partner with a gift so romantic and exotic, the excitement starts before the box is even opened. Imagine the anticipation on his/her face when a box arrives directly from Provence, France with the name zChocolat.com affixed! But the fun is just beginning because no matter which of our tantalizing Valentines you select, it will unquestionably exceed their most expectant imaginings.

There are many choices when you want to send Valentine gifts. Roses are always a favorite but you might want to choose tulips, lilies, orchids or a stunning combination of exotic flowers and chocolate or candy. Nowadays, flashy and ostentatious gifts are the priorities for the day, anyway this in no way undermines the significance of flowers.

Most popular gift for Valentine's Day are flowers, chocolate and cards. Flowers have symbolized the essence of the day. On this special day, whether it is a single flower or a garland, the sole expression reflected is the message of love. Roses are the ultimate romantic flower, and the most popular present for Valentine’s Day. White roses are for love, red roses are for passion, and yellow roses are for friendship. Lilac roses are the choice to symbolize love at first sight.

Red Roses signify passion or strength of feeling, yellow roses stand for love, and white roses traditionally reflect innocence. A dozen red roses are considered to be a gift of love, while a single long stemmed red rose is usually seen as a passionate gift. You can also send Valentine flowers to your parents, grandparents, favorite aunt or uncle or even the kids. It is the perfect time to remember the people you love. Valentine flowers will brighten the day for those residing in care facilities. It’s a good time to thank people, too. Think about all the people in your life that you would like to thank. Maybe it’s a coworker or boss, special friend or teacher.

Life After Death

2009-01-21T21:03:00.000-08:00

Are there live after death? I think nobody can't talk to me or not believe. I'm not sure about this, because never seen before.

Life After Death - How To Cope With The Death Of A Spouse
By Dave Pipitone

Believing in life after death offers a powerful and effective way to deal with the loss of your spouse. The death of a spouse is the hardest thing you will ever deal with in life.

Photo: yinvsyang.com

During and after the funeral, there seems to be an endless stream of tears, sleepless nights and sickness in the pit of your stomach. You wonder how you will ever go on without being able to touch, laugh with or talk to that person again.

While a period of mourning is normal, you may find that you have lost your appetite for weeks, you find yourself listless and unable to get out of bed, you are slowly withdrawing from friends and family, and the weight on your heart does not seem to go away.

These signs may signal serious depression. Before this sadness changes your personality in unimaginable ways, seek out support and help. After all, you should not die, prematurely, with your loved one. You are still here for a reason.

Your friends and family can create a tremendous support net for you following the death and funeral of a spouse. Some people instinctively withdraw from others in their time of loss. This can be hard for the comforters to understand, especially if you grieving the loss of a spouse.

Be aware that people will genuinely want to comfort you, they want you to come to them for an embrace or to talk about your feelings. The hardest part is feeling shut out and helpless. While it may not be the first thing on your mind or a natural tendency, when you are ready, accept the help of those around.

Open up to them by trying to recall fond memories of the person who has died. Sometimes there need not be any conversation at all, as the power of a hug is incredible at bolstering emotional strength. Even if you are not a person who likes hugs, receiving the embrace of another person is a gift of love.

In some cases, after the funeral or memorial service is over, family and friends are not enough. This is especially true when your spouse dies. A major loss can affect you psychologically over time if not dealt with properly. Feelings of guilt may arise and the death of a spouse can feel like a part of you has died as well. Mourning can quickly turn to guilt complexes, depression or other mental illnesses.

After a wake, funeral and burial service, seek out a support system. Find others who are grieving as much as you - or even more than you - and bond together. Churches offer a connection to support groups of widows and widowers like Joyful Again.

Make arrangements to meet for lunch. Take trips to the grave site together or flip through old photo albums. Carry a card that reminds you that your spouse is still alive with God. The death of a beloved wife or husband can be traumatizing, more so than you initially realize, so it's important to deal with your feelings in a healthy manner.

Believe in life after death. Make time to pray and ask for peace for your deceased spouse and ask for his or her prayers for you. It's comforting to know you are not alone in your grief.

To remember how your deceased spouse is connected to God and you, use an inspirational memorial poem. Visit My 3 Strands.com.

Pass on Family Tradition

2009-01-14T02:37:00.000-08:00

How to Effectively Pass on Family Tradition - FamilyVision Column
By Daryl Green

“By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion. There on the poplars we hung our harps, for there our captors asked us for songs, our tormentors demanded songs of joy; they said, ‘Sing us one of the songs of Zion!’ How can we sing the songs of the Lord while in a foreign land?”
Psalms 137:1-4

Photo: lifepath.eons.com

Our family is filled with sadness due to the death of the last matriarch of our clan. Why do I feel that something is missing? I can remember all the family history and traditions that were passed along. Who will tell the children those outlandish stories? Do you remember the story about walking through snow going to school? Family history is something most people take for granted. Who keeps up with your history?

Most family history is verbal. It’s handed down from generation to generation. No one wants to admit that his or her favorite relative will die someday. Most families expect the next generation to do better (education, wealth, leadership, etc.). These expectations can scare us because we don’t want to be responsible for any setbacks. Well, to be honest, this frightens me.

Several years ago, I spoke at my father’s funeral. I could not hold back the tears. God had given me a great mentor to guide me through manhood; God was now taking him back. My dad had achieved so much despite his lack of a formal education. He had set a standard for me…my measuring stick. I felt my father’s shoes were too large to fill; however, I could not hide from my responsibility. It was my turn. Would I falter under the pressure? Passing the family’s collective experience to the next generation is a necessary part of building strong leadership within families.

How can families preserve this rich knowledge base? Who is going to remind us of the old ways? Read the newspaper and you’ll find youth on the rampage. Many want to point fingers--media, society, movies, and ill-equipped parents. Society needs to find answers to help this young generation. Let’s use one of our greatest treasures, our seniors. Age doesn’t always translate into wisdom, however.

You shouldn’t follow some person just because of his age, but look at that person’s life. Look to individuals who have a proven track record. Today’s parents complain about the pressures and costs of raising children. Older parents (some with ten or more children and less money) managed, however, to educate their children with no government assistance. As we enter this new millennium, we cannot afford to reject the wisdom from past generations. Here are some suggestions:

Use senior citizens in mentoring young people with their expertise.
Encourage seniors to write their stories and experiences for the next generation.
Visit a nursing home and discover all the wisdom there.
Conduct videotape interviews with seniors for your church/community archive.
Submit articles to news editors relating to seniors in your community.

Knowledge is wasted if it isn’t used correctly. Why make the same mistakes, over and over? Take heed from the wisdom that’s all around you. Build on the previous generations by avoiding the same traps. We must preserve our heritage and legacy. It is a responsibility we must all bear. If you don’t preserve this rich history, don’t expect anyone else to care about your own generation. Give future generations that corporate knowledge that exists now. Start today.

Daryl and Estraletta Green provide personal advice all around the country. Daryl is the author of two books, Awakening the Talents Within and My Cup Runneth Over. They have been noted and quoted in such media organizations such as USA Today, NBC’s Alive at Five, Heaven 600, Answerline, American Urban Radio, The Bev Smith Show, The Hallerin Hill Show, Ebony Magazine, and BET’s Buy the Book. The Green’s nationally syndicated column, FamilyVision, reached 200 newspapers and over 12 million readers.

To get a free one hour personal coaching session, you can contact them at http://www.darylandestraletta.com/

Funeral Pre-Planning

2009-01-08T02:32:00.000-08:00

Funeral Pre-Planning and Asset Organization
By Adam Tarr

Most people understand the importance of having a living will, but nowadays more and more people are finding out about the benefits of doing further pre-planning. The thought of planning your own funeral and even writing your own obituary may initially come across as creepy, but after taking a second look it is often a meaningful and helpful process.

Photo: valleyoflife.com

The people you leave behind are the ones that benefit most from funeral pre-planning and asset organization. Your loved ones have enough stress and sadness to deal with after you pass that they do not need additional tasks. Funeral pre-planning is a simple way of removing tough decisions from your loved ones responsibilities. By picking out a funeral home, addressing how you would like the service to go, and even writing your own obituary you make life easier on everyone you leave behind. Further, by organizing your assets in advance your next of kin will be able to carry out your will without having to sort through endless financial records. Most people think these things are covered in a will, but in truth the will is an instructive document and offers little help in organization or even finding where one's assets are located. Besides helping loved ones after you pass, funeral pre-planning can help you get organized yourself even if you expect to live many more decades. For those people with a serious illness it becomes even more important, and for some people it helps them gain a sense of closure.

The good news is that as pre-planning has becomes more popular, there are increasing ways to handle the process. Some of the most common ways are presented below:

Have your attorney keep a separate document with your will that works as a table of contents. It would list all of your assets and any pertinent information about them. There could also be a document that has your wishes for the funeral. The only issue here is that as your wishes or assets change you will have to update them. This may require fees depending on your attorney.

Another option is to keep these asset lists and funeral wishes in a safety deposit box where you can update them as needed. Just be sure someone knows to go to the safety deposit box shortly after you pass away.

Some funeral homes will allow people to come in and pre-plan their funeral. This has the benefit of having all of your wishes already with the company that will be carrying them out. The problem is that the funeral home will most likely not help you with asset organization.

Another popular option is to join a website that not only stores your information but also helps you organize. Usually there is a one-time fee that allows the user to input their funeral wishes as well as organize all of their assets. The member can then go back in and update things as often as they like at no additional charge. When the member dies, the death is verified before the information is released to the people you have selected to carry out your wishes. Here security and ease of use are of utmost importance.

No matter what method you chose the key is to start early and include as much information as you can. If you wait to long you will eventually keep putting it off until you forget completely and it is too late. As far as what information to write down, try to imagine being on the other end and having to decipher through all of someone’s assets. If a piece of information would make that job easier, it should be included. Each asset should have a location, estimated value, account or policy number, etc. For funeral wishes, requests should be simple and to the point so there is no confusion. Some attorneys may have templates to make the job easier. The websites mentioned above also have these templates that can make the job easier.

beRemembered.org - leave messages for loved ones and online funeral pre-planning. http://www.beremembered.org/
Reprint Permissions: Author's articles may be reprinted or reused as long as (1) articles are printed in their entirety, without changes; and (2) all reprints include the author's bio line, with a link to the author's website, as above.
The above article is the writer's opinion and no claims are made for its accuracy.

Insurance for your family

2008-12-27T08:50:00.000-08:00

The beneficiary receives policy proceeds upon the insured's death. The owner designates the beneficiary, but the beneficiary is not a party to the policy. The owner can change the beneficiary unless the policy has an irrevocable beneficiary designation.

Life Insurance Cares for Your Family After You Are Gone
By Michael Benifez

Although no one likes to think about when they are going to pass away, sometimes we need to pause to make sure we would have no regrets if something happened tomorrow. Even though it is scary to think about, everyone should understand the importance of life insurance. If something were to happen, how would it effect your loved ones financially?

Photo:terrycampbellinsurance.com

As unfortunate as it is, a lot of people do not have life insurance. This leaves their families grieving with their loss, along with coming up with the money for a funeral and all of the other expensive measures taken. If you know that when your time has come your family would make sure everything is just the way you would want it to be, then you should act now to get life insurance so losing money is not a problem after losing a loved one.

Thinking that your last days may not be that far away is a frightening thought, but not having a plan for yourself or loved ones after you pass away is not a good thought either. Life insurance not only covers your funeral costs but medical costs that might have been in connected with your death. If you were to leave tomorrow wouldn't you want your spouse, children, or even parents to be able to receive money in case they do not have the funds for themselves.

If you think now is the time to get life insurance you can easily learn more and find a policy by doing research on the internet. Sometimes you don't even have to have a plan for yourself. There are a couple other options you have if they apply to you. In some cases you can get life insurance if you are a student. Also, some work places offer life insurance as work benefits. If either of these situations are familiar to you, it is a great idea to take advantage of them. If not, simply ask around or find a reliable company from which you can get an insurance policy from.

Like any other insurance plan, it is important to do your research and find which policy would best suite you financially. Considering you will have options make sure to pick the best one, and when you do write down what you plan to do with your money when you pass on. Also consider beginning some debt management to not waste the money after you are gone. Always keep in mind that all companies are different so do not forget to take into consideration the benefits and prices you will receive from each one.

The loss of a loved one can add to the stress a family must face and destroy their credit over time. Start today manage debt management as a beginner before that time comes. Visit Everlife.com learn steps to put your financial future is in your hands.

Restraint one's mind for Untimely Death

2009-01-01T00:48:00.000-08:00

We are not dealing with a body of legislation. We do not have to figure out under which clauses and subparagraphs our lives fall. We don’t have to worry that someone will go to heaven or to hell on a technicality. We worship a living and loving God, not an impersonal book of legislation.

Untimely Death Can Inspire New Life
By Mary Gardner

Two young men, at opposite ends of the country, gone. Both were complete champions in life, the type that everyone loved to be around, they were the type that were successful at everything they did, and were champions in their sports and in their hobbies. Both of their deaths, shook the very core of the communities in which they lived, and now the parents, and their friends are left trying to piece their lives back together.

Photo: dailymail.co.uk

These two young men have transformed my life. I’ve learned more from their deaths about how we are supposed to live, than any other event that has occurred to me in a long time.

One of them, Nathan Timmes, was a 20 year old Eagle Scout, and the nephew of a high school friend, was a motorcycle racer, mountain climber, pilot, sky diver, white water rafting exciting young man who was studying aviation in college. He died earlier this year in a car accident. This young man lived his life completely fully. He did everything by giving 100%. He loved his friends, his hobbies and his family with complete intensity. At the funeral, they displayed dozens of pictures of him on top of mountains, jumping out of planes, on motorcycles, with his friends, always experiencing out door adventure, above everything, he lived without fear, and always, loving life. To remind me of how I should live every day, I’ve kept his picture from the funeral on my bulletin board. This young boys’ life, which I found out by because of his death, transformed me.

The other boy, Dan Lunger, the son of a high school friend, was a state champion swimmer who had just made junior nationals. He was also an eagle scout, and the type of person that loved life as much as anyone could. His dad, Howard told me on the phone from Colorado yesterday, that his son had experienced true love, the gift of friendship, the gift of being a champion and that he wasn’t afraid to give his dad a hug in front of his buddies. At the funeral, dozens of kids who knew this boy Dan, went up to his parents and told them story after story of how friendly Dan always was and how he always took time to say Hi and to care about everyone, even if they weren’t in his circle of friends. He attracted the “Jocks to the Goths”, and everyone, everywhere, was touched by his zest for life. This 16 year old boy, who I never met, has affected my life in ways I never knew he could.

Yesterday, I spent 45 minutes on the phone with my friend Howard, and as he told me the stories of his son Dan, and how an undetected heart ailment stole his young life within minutes. While on the phone and hearing the tragic story, I got a glimpse of his extraordinary life in Colorado. Howard told me how many, many lives were touched by just a friendly “hello” every day, or by the easy attitude he had about his grades, or even about his sport that he loved, swimming. Dan didn’t get weighed down by the normal stresses of life, and he attempted to bring a friendly conversation or a little comfort to whoever he met, whether it be in class, or at a swim meet with his biggest competitor.

I don’t know if the parents of these boys will ever understand how God could allow their incredible young lives to end so suddenly. It’s got to be the most painful thing in the world to see your child die. But both families, somehow, were given amazing grace, to stand up and speak with each person who told them of how their son personally effected their lives.

My friend Howard told me that no one will ever get a true glimpse of a person’s life, until they die. People that he’d never met came to the funeral to share their stories of Dan and his life and what he meant to others. Over and over, Howard and his wife were just stunned of the impact that their 16 year old had on others. He lived the way we’re supposed to live.

When I think about my life, of how I’ve worried about the smallest things, or have obsessed over my career, or about the car I drive or the clothes I wear, I realize that I’m wasting my precious energy. I believe that God has us here on earth, to love others. Period. That’s our job. We are to do that through our work, and by being a good neighbor, by being a devoted wife, mother, friend, spouse, sister, brother, or whatever the different roles that we play. It’s the people that are important. It’s the people’s lives that we touch that are important. We are supposed to live life fully, by going out and experiencing it and not being fearful of it. We’re supposed to support one another, to we are supposed to tell others that we care for them. We are supposed to love our neighbors as our selves, and we are supposed to love and serve God above all else. To me, that means to serve Him by serving others. It means that my attitude at all times, is the most important thing going on at the moment. If I encounter a stressful moment, the most important thing is the attitude of peace and comfort that should accompany that stressful moment.

None of us are promised another day. A car accident or an undetected heart problem or something else could take us from the earth on this very day. And what would the streams of people say at our funerals? Would they say that we were well loved and always seemed to bring comfort or a kind word to others, or would they say simply to the survivors, “I’m sorry for your loss?”

How are we affecting the people we meet each day? Are we meeting others with a smile and a kind word, or with a stressful glance as we hurry on by. Are we taking the time to share with people or are we too busy to care? Are we saying “I love you” to our friends and families when we walk away or hang up the phone? Or are we consumed with how much extra weight we’re carrying around or what outfit to wear to an upcoming reunion?

I’ve been guilty of having the wrong attitude and have focused on the wrong things. But I see these two young mens’ lives, and now deeply understand the truth about my own life. We all have a purpose. We’re here to love, and to serve. Through our serving others, we glorify God, and by sharing ourselves deeply with others we give each other comfort. God uses us to help others, and we in turn are inspired by others. We’re all connected. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Today, these two young men, continue to live on in our hearts and minds. Their lives gave love to many when they lived, and in their death, they give hope. I pray that their families know that their lives served a great purpose, even in their deaths.

Their untimely deaths, inspired many to develop a new life. Their deaths encourage us to live a life without fear, and lives filled with adventure, fun, happy times, acceptance, calmness, friendship and love. It all seems so familiar now. It’s happened before, and perhaps this was a current day reminder. Two thousand years ago, God the Father, gave his Son, so that we might have a new life and that we might have it abundantly. It all makes sense to me now.

As we are reminded of their lives and deaths, we can chose to live our lives abundantly, and we, can be free.

Mary Gardner is an Executive Communications Consultant, Coach and Speaker. She can be reached at http://www.marygardner.com/

Cultural in any Funerals

2008-12-19T08:27:00.000-08:00

There are cultural universals that have remained consistent in funeral service: announcing the death; care of the deceased; a method of disposition; a possible ceremony or ritual; and some form of memorialization. Therefore, just know about cultural in each religion before go a funeral.

Tips on Attending Cultural Funerals
By Jeffrey Meier

Many people see funerals as a very difficult time that represents the loss of a loved one. However, many cultures handle funeral proceedings in different ways based on tradition. So while you may be accustomed to the process of meeting at the funeral home, having the service, trailing the hearse with casket to the cemetery then burying the body, you may be surprised by the ways other cultures bid farewell to their family and friends.

Photo: legrc.org

Traditional Hispanic Funerals

The word Hispanic in and of itself can be ambiguous, as it is used to describe a number of nationalities and ethnicities of Spanish-speaking individuals. However, to group people from Spain with people from Brazil would be doing a disservice to those who have highly-traditional cultural backgrounds that they are immensely proud of and identify with. So for this reason, when looking at the traditional Hispanic funeral, it will be a generalization of similar traditions that seem to stretch across more than a few Hispanic cultures and is not intended to work as a "catch-all" for all of the cultures.

The more common understanding of funerals and deaths within Hispanic culture is the idea that life and death are viewed similarly as something to be celebrated, not feared, for it is the acknowledgment of a soul's home-going. Since many people of Hispanic heritage are Catholic, they tend to take on the traditions of Catholicism, which treat funerals as a part of the process of dying - not necessarily waiting until after the death has occurred.

In this case, funerals often begin when a person is on his or her death bed. At this time, the communion of last rights is performed, which includes the anointing of the ill, the hearing of their confessions, prayers, Communion and a blessing for peace. Someone within the family is normally sure to be present with the dying individual until they pass on. And after the person has passed on, someone continues to stay with the body until it is prepared for the burial and wake - the wake being a social time when friends and family come together to eat, laugh and listen to music while talking about their fond memories of the loved on who has passed on while waiting for the burial. Lit candles and flowers are very important and highly visible during the wake, as well as the funeral.

The official funeral takes place the day after the wake with a priest or clergyman presiding over the ceremony. Often times, people place personal items and gifts on the casket to help the deceased have a successful and loving journey to the afterworld. After the ceremony is complete, the burial takes place - often times in the homeland of the deceased as a way to honor and be close to family members who have passed on. The burial represents a new phase and beginning of freedom for the deceased - now they are able to help those they love who are still living.

After funerals and burials, families usually have a gathering or reception with food and more time to come together and enjoy each other's company - and once again pray for and remember their loved one who has moved forward to the spirit world.

Photo: cyai.net

Chinese Buddhist Funeral Customs

Whereas some cultures allow for cremation, the Chinese societies that practice Buddhism tend to stay away from anything that is deemed improper in arranging funerals for doing so can cause ill fortune to the family of the deceased. While the specific funeral rites and burial customs can vary depending on the age of the deceased, the marital status, how he or she died and his or her status in society, much of the process is the same for all individuals.

There are many examples of how the deceased is treated differently depending on age and status. For instance, if an unmarried son dies before his parents, the parents are not allowed to bring his body home to the family after death and instead it must be left at the funeral parlor. Also, the parents are not allowed to offer prayers for the son because being a younger person he is not owed the same respect as an older, married person with children. Even more, if a baby or small child dies, no service can be provided at all because no respect can be shown due to the young age. However, if a person is older and highly respected, the family must perform the most elaborate service for him or her, even if they go into debt doing so.

When the death occurs, the family must immediately cover all statues of deities in the house with red paper and remove mirrors to avoid seeing the coffin (which is brought to the home) in the mirror because it is believed to cause death shortly after. Also, a white cloth is hung across the main entrance to the house with a gong placed on the left of the doorway if the deceased is a male and to the right if the deceased is a female.

Before the family can place the body in the coffin, it must be cleaned with a damp towel and dusted with talcum powder. Then it is dressed in his or her best clothing from head to toe. Once the corpse is dressed and placed in the coffin, the body is covered with a light blue cloth and the face is covered with a yellow one.

During the wake, the coffin either rests in the house or outside of the house to represent the person dying in the home or away for the home, respectively. The family and friends gather for the cake and eat food placed in front of the coffin. And the family also performs a series of rituals and prayers to respect the dead.

After the wake ceremonies are completed, the coffin is nailed shut and carried to side of the road to be additionally prayed over before being taken (usually by hearse) to burial grounds that are normally found on hillsides for better feng shui. When the casket is buried the family turns away from the coffin to show respect and later the mourners' clothes are to be buried to evade bad luck.

There are many more ways that different cultures perform funerals in order to pay respects to their loved ones, but these are just a few. No matter how any one culture handles its funerals, they can all agree that their traditions and customs are all meant to send their friends and family members to a better, more peaceful place.

Jeffrey Meier at Jam727 Enterprises at http://www.thearticlehome.com/ blog offers even more detailed information on a wide variety of topics.

Alternative Funerals

2008-12-15T23:42:00.000-08:00

There are various forms of Alternative funeral choices. One of the most popular is Cremation. Home Funerals are re-surging and Green Funerals are also gaining in popularity. Others especially sailors choose a Burial at Sea.

Beginners Guide to Alternative Funerals
By N Taylor

The information is written in a matter of fact way to keep it clear and straightforward. Our intention is not to cause distress. Please keep this in mind if you decide to read further.

Photo: smh.com.au

There are very few regulations covering the disposal of a body in the UK. You must undertake either to bury or cremate it, and you must have a death certificate signed by a doctor and a Certificate for Burial or Cremation from the Registrar of Deaths. This last document is very important, and most hospitals and mortuaries will not release the body until they've seen it.

Donating your body to Science - Bequeathing your body for medical science is a courageous alternative to the traditional funeral. However there are criteria that you have to fulfil in order to be able to leave your body to science. These include the death has occurred from natural causes i.e. old age or a heart attack or similar and up to the time of death the person was generally fit. The hospital is not full at the time of donation, That no post mortem has occurred, that no limbs are missing and that no infectious agents (HIV aids etc.) can be found as this would deem the body non acceptable.

Should you still be interested contact your doctor or your nearest teaching hospital and request a registration form this will need witnessing by your next of kin and you should discuss your ideas with all the close family.

A body may be kept for medical teaching purposes for up to 3 years. The medical schools will arrange and pay for a simple funeral, or the relatives can do this themselves. The medical school can advise relatives when the body is available for funeral.

This could be a very satisfactory way to help doctors and nurses and indeed mankind after death but is not for everyone. For more info contact: HM Inspector of Anatomy
Woodland Burial - Some people are choosing a woodland burial site instead of a cemetery or crematorium. There are now many in the UK, some run as annexes to local authority sites, some as charities and others as businesses. The cost varies greatly from site to site.

Each woodland burial site will have its own criteria and it is best to contact the one you wish to use as soon as possible in order to make sure you avoid later complications.

Burial at sea - You should tell the registrar that you're planning a sea burial and obtain a coroner's 'Out of England' form. The licence is free and can be obtained from the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA). Burial at sea is a complicated process and one that is best planned and researched well in advance.

Less that 50 burials at sea are conducted each year. There are only a few places where these are permitted, mainly due to the technicalities of the body being washed to shore, caught in currents and tides and other various issues that most of us land lovers wouldn’t even consider.

It is important to know that a body that has been embalmed will not be able to be buried at sea. You will also need an appropriate certificate stating that the body is clear of infection or fever.

DEFRA for the reasons mentioned above tends to advocate scattering the ashes at sea for which you to do not need a licence under the Food and Environment Protection Act 1985.

Tributes & memorials Diamonds - A touching way for some to remember their loved one is to have the ashes turned into diamonds Prices range from £2,250 for a 0.5 carat to £11,950 for a 1 carat gem

Fireworks – It is now possible to have ashes put into a firework, the cost ranges from approximately £370 - £1000. There are companies within the UK that will choreograph and entire display including creating the ashes firework and can be found on most reputable search engines. This isn’t an option for the faint hearted but you would certainly go out with a bang!

Memorial websites – Memorial websites can be a touching tribute to someone’s life, allowing friends and families from anywhere across the world to gather at one place , share memories and support each other through the grief.

Do-it-yourself Funerals A growing number of DIY funerals are conducted each year, some encouraged by the desire for personal involvement and some to find an inexpensive or greener alternative to the conventional funeral. You will find that some funeral homes will aid you in the process, a list of local funeral directors can be found in our directory.

Conducting a DIY funeral can be a very personal but difficult process. Most people who take on the arrangements do so with advance planning. However you can, with the help of a good funeral home be involved in the funeral arrangements without having to take on the entire process.

Initially a death certificate signed by a doctor the next of kin or the person arranging the funeral must take the certificate issued by the doctor to the Registrar of Births and Deaths within five days from death.

After the death either yourself or the local district nurse can carry out the last offices. This is where the body is laid on its back, eyes closed and the natural outlets of the body are plugged with cotton wool. The body may also be washed and dressed at this point.

If you are storing the body at a home until the funeral you will need to keep the body in a well ventilated, cool room.

If the death occurs in hospital, the mortician may agree to keep the body in the hospital mortuary until the day of the funeral, there may be a charge for this and you will need to discuss this will the hospital mortician.

If the death occurs at home, a local funeral director may agree to provide a mortuary facility only.

You can make or obtain a coffin (although not all funeral directors sell them without also providing the undertaking service), and ask staff at the hospital or public mortuary to put the body into it. It is worth noting that if you plan on moving the body as well it is advised that most funeral directors place the body into a coffin once it is out of the hospital for logistic reasons including, amongst other things, manoeuvring a coffin down stairs and round corners.

Environmentally-friendly coffins are available throughout the uk. Almost all crematoriums now accept cardboard coffins. Some crematoriums and cemeteries accept bodies without coffins if placed in a body bag and supported by a plank but it is essential that you check with them first. They will give you instructions on labelling the coffin and any requirements that they need you to fulfil.

Burials at sea have their own criteria for coffins and you should check that with them initially. Woodland burials are advocates of ‘green’ coffins that are biodegradable. In some cases no coffin is required at all. Again you should check with your chosen site to confirm their requests.

Even in a ‘traditional’ funeral a large selection of coffins can be available for you to use. Your home will be able to give you a choice of the coffins they supply.

To book a date and time for a burial or cremation, you'll need to fill in an application form as soon as possible.

If you'd like a priest to take the service, or to hold it in a religious building, you need to book these as soon as you can, too.

A truly personal service can be held if you ask someone who knew your loved one well to conduct the ceremony. No special requirements are needed just confidence and courage.

If the burial is conducted in a church yard you will need to find a grave digger, the best person to consult on this is your vicar or priest.

Transporting the body You can transport the coffin in any vehicle, such as a hearse, estate car or horse and carriage; as long as it's big enough there is even a motorcycle company that specialize in Harley Davidson hearses (Google search UK). Some funeral homes will hire just the hearse to you and supply a driver. If you're considering a particularly unusual mode of transport, check with the cemetery or crematorium first.

By N Taylor
RESOURCE 1 - http://www.tributetimes.co.uk/Help/AlternativeFunerals

Gift Cards for Holiday's gift

2008-12-10T03:55:00.000-08:00

Hello, The holiday season time is come back again. Do you want to gift something for anyone but no have idea to buy anything yet. I would like to suggest you to buy or change to a gift card. A gift card is a restricted monetary equivalent or scrip that is issued by retailers or banks to be used as an alternative to a non monetary gift.

Therefor, your gift card's recipient can buy the gift or anything that they want as well, it easy for you and happy to receiver. Gift cards have become increasingly popular as they relieve the donor of selecting a specific gift. The recipient of the gift card can use it at his or her discretion within the restrictions set by the issuing agency. So, you can choose the price for your gift card which you want to buy for anybody. For more information about gift cards just visit Amazon.com.

Funeral Records

2008-12-05T23:19:00.000-08:00

Funeral records are private business records used to record the expenses of services provided for the burial of an individual. Funeral homes are now required to prepare and file the death certificate with the appropriate health office. Most funeral directors now also prepare the obituary notice.

What You Can Learn from Funeral Records
By Amit Mehta

Funeral records are documents kept by funeral homes detailing the funeral services that were registered with them. When it comes to conducting research on the death of an individual, death records are often the first recourse while funeral documents are often (unjustly) overlooked.

Photo: carlisle.gov.uk

One of the primary reasons why funeral records are ignored is that, unlike death records, they are not considered public records. Funeral homes are not required by law to release funeral documents unless there is just cause. But as of late, more funeral homes are allowing the general public to request for this information, provided that the name of the deceased and the date of death are provided accurately by the requesting party.

Since the funeral home director is tasked with the responsibility of filling out the death certificate, the latter is also part of the funeral records they keep at most funeral homes. Aside from the date of birth and death, other information that you can find in the death certificate includes the name of the spouse, name of parents, the place of residence at death and the name and location of the cemetery.

On the actual funeral records, one can find a list of surviving family members of the individual who passed away. Sometimes, even the names and addresses of the in-laws and grandchildren are included on this list, since this will be needed for placing obituaries in newspapers.

Although not often the case, there are instances when funeral documents also reveal the deceased person’s last will or testament, birth certificate, insurance policy and military record. These information are of course especially relevant for those trying to trace their lineage, track down ancestors and uncover their own family history.

Funeral Records Go ‘Live’ Online

Due to the sheer volume of funeral records, many mortuary facilities have chosen to digitize all their records and offer them online. Being able to access funeral documents online is advantageous for mortuary facilities since this saves them the additional cost of having to maintain a separate physical archive, sometimes even employing the services of a third party record keeping company.

For people wishing to acquire copies of funeral records, retrieving them online preserves these records for posterity. Digitized copies mean that the risk of these records getting lost, stolen or damaged is significantly reduced and are more likely to be able to withstand the test of time.

One caveat for anyone accessing funeral records is that these records may not be entirely accurate since most of the information is supplied by the surviving family members and then compiled by the funeral director. As such, any information that you learn from funeral documents has to be double checked against other sources of data before they can be deemed as conclusive.

The registrar of vital statistics, the county of death and cemeteries may also have some related records that can be utilized for research purposes and serve as excellent supporting documents for funeral records.

Want to Know the Top Sites to Find Funeral Records? Read Dr. Amit Mehta's Unbiased Reviews ==> RecordsSiteReviews.com

Sympathy Flowers

2008-12-01T08:59:00.000-08:00

Sympathy flowers for a funeral are an important way to show our love and support. The gentle beauty of flowers helps you offer feelings of sympathy and comfort at a sensitive and emotional time. A Tidy's Flowers' funeral flower arrangement is appropriate to send either to a home or to a funeral.

Sympathy Funeral Flowers
By Jennifer Bailey

Whenever a loved-one or a friend is deceased, it is the simplest form of condolences to send sympathy flowers to the funeral. Studies conducted showed that the colors and the fragrance from the flowers and the sympathizing cards help ease the grief of the family members. It is a simple way of symbolizing that you share with them the grief they are going through during those troubled times. Mourning family members still seek comfort in those times of mourning, and flowers help ease the pain of the loss.

There are different types of sympathy flowers you can find. There is the coffin spray that lies on top of the coffin. The traditional posies are set in an oasis base. You would be able to find heart-shaped arrangements, the traditional wreaths, or the non-traditional name or lettering tributes where the flowers are arranged to form a word or words. Garden basket types are one of the most popular arrangements you can find in the market. A very common arrangement you will find is the bouquet. You can also find personalized arrangements like crosses, pillow-types and other more unorthodox shaped design.

No matter what the shape or design of the flower, one thing you would have to bear in mind is the appropriateness of the gift. Though you may have the right intentions, due to certain issues like traditional clashes or religious practices, your gift may turn out to be offensive. If you are unsure how your gift would be accepted by the mourning family, it might be best to seek the advice of a professional florist. These florists would have a better idea on what would be more appropriate to send.

Sympathy Flowers provides detailed information on Buy Sympathy Flowers, Cheap Sympathy Flowers, Discount Sympathy Flowers, Send Sympathy Flowers and more. Sympathy Flowers is affiliated with Buy Funeral Flowers.

Pre Planning Funeral Arrangements

2008-11-26T01:13:00.000-08:00

All the preplanning final arrangements you make for that moment when others want to say goodbye, those for preplanning funeral arrangements services are the most complicated. For loved ones, forced to make decisions they neither asked for nor are equipped to make, under the circumstances they become the most incredibly difficult, agonizing and more..

Tips When Pre-Planning Your Funeral Arrangements
By Mike Selvon

You're neat, detailed, organized... always have been, always will be. Lists are your thing, your desk is often immaculate, and even when clutter springs up, you've usually tackled it within a week.

Photo: saundersmcfarlin.net

You planned your wedding from start to finish, you planned birthday parties for the children, graduation parties, surprise anniversary parties, Thanksgiving dinners, retirement celebrations. So why not plan your funeral arrangements in advance to control the final details of your life and lessen the burden on your loved ones?

The casket can be the most expensive part of the traditional family funeral. Loved ones feel especially torn when selecting an appropriate burial container. They wonder if you would have wanted pine or mahogany, they wonder if people will think they are cheap. The truth is, after the funeral, no one will ever see your casket again!

Therefore, you may want to look into renting a casket and selecting a less expensive burial container. If your family is low-key and doesn't care much for appearances, then a simple casket made of plastic or pine will be just fine.

You can also choose from fiberglass, wood, plastic or metal, and you can even find them online! If you do purchase your casket online, then be aware that federal regulations state that funeral homes cannot charge you extra for supplying your own casket.

Instead, you may choose the direct cremation option (which runs from $300 - $600). If direct cremation sounds appropriate to you, then you'll only pay for the funeral director's consultation, a non-metal body container, hearse fees for crematorium transport, and an urn or container for the ashes.

Some Christians desire burial of the ashes, in which case you'll need to buy a grave site, marker and hardier container. Even so, this option is generally cheaper, though it doesn't allow people that elaborate face-to-face mourning.

What is a grave liner or vault, and is it really necessary? A grave liner or vault is required as an outer burial container to surround the casket in the grave and prevent the ground from settling or sinking over time.

The necessity of a grave liner depends upon the individual cemetery, so you may want to shop around at a few places. If this is not feasible, then don't fret too much - liners usually don't cost too much.

Know your rights! The Federal Trade Commission - through the Funeral Rule - requires a provider to give you a list of up-to-date funeral arrangements and services, along with the prices. The price list should include: funeral director services for consultations and paperwork, care of the body, embalming, casketing, dressing, use of facilities for wakes or memorial ceremonies, funeral flowers, obituary notices, funeral music, cremation, immediate burial, etc.

Anyone who can't give you at least this much information, cannot be trusted. Also, by law, the directors are not allowed to criticize your decisions or push you into buying something you don't want.

Feel free to shop around. You may prefer one funeral home because of its location or family tradition, but be aware that prices vary greatly from one end of town to the next.

Learn more about preplanned funeral arrangements at Mike Selvon portal. While you are there leave is a comment at our traditional funerals blog, and receive your FREE gift.

Jazz Funerals

2008-11-23T00:58:00.000-08:00

Jazz funeral is a common name for a funeral tradition with music which developed in New Orleans, Louisiana. Drummers at the funeral of jazz legend Danny BarkerThe term "jazz funeral" was long in use by observers from elsewhere, but was generally disdained as inappropriate by most New Orleans musicians and practitioners of the tradition. The preferred description was "funeral with music"; while jazz was part of the music played, it was not the primary focus of the ceremony. The tradition arises from African spiritual practices, French and Spanish martial musical traditions, and uniquely African-American cultural influences. The tradition was widespread among New Orleanians across ethnic boundaries at the start of the 20th century. As the common brass band music became wilder in the years before World War I, some "white" New Orleanians considered the hot music disrespectful, and such musical funerals became rare among the city's caucasians.

Jazz Funerals in New Orleans
By Jeffrey Meier

In the past few years, Louisiana, and New Orleans in particular has been in the media due to issues related to Hurricane Katrina. Many people have been displaced from their homes for years and are still trying to recover emotionally and physically from the traumatic natural disaster that took the lives of over one thousand people and left many more jobless and homeless. However, before the events of the fateful hurricane took place, there stood a city that exuded music, culture and life. New Orleans residents had diverse cultural backgrounds from places including the Cuba, Sicily France, and West Africa. And the diversity showed in the way they celebrated life - and death - on a regular basis. In the New Orleans African American community in particular, it was very common for the celebration of death to be as uplifting as the celebration of life. So in this article I will explore the phenomena known as jazz funerals in New Orleans.

Photo: lesliehawes.com

New Orleans' Cultural Backgrounds and Traditions

Often compared to Europe more so than any other city in the United States, New Orleans definitely beats to its own drum - literally - and engulfs anyone who visits immediately with its intoxicating charm and southern hospitality. This community in southern Louisiana is very famous for its cultural diversity. In one area, you may find a group of Italians and a few Greeks, and in another area, you might find a few African-Americans and French Creoles. The reason for this diversity is due to its interesting history.

This city is the place that free and enslaved Africans, as well as Native American Indian and European settlers blended together, which resulted in what we know as a French Creole culture where the people are primarily considered to be black because of their physical traits, but often have very fair skin. The original members of each culture still remain also, in addition to Sicilian, Italian, Croatian, Irish, Jewish and Spanish cultures, to make a very diverse melting pot.

With the emergence of unique cultural backgrounds came a diverse array of cultural traditions to follow. Some traditions were derived from the tribal rituals of West Africa, from where the slaves were taken, as well as that of American Indians. Essentially, the city adopted a variety of cultural rights, many of which still exist today.

New Orleans Jazz Funerals

One of the cultural rites that the city has adopted is the jazz funeral of African American culture. Originating from West African tradition, jazz funerals have been a part of New Orleans for as long as it has been a city. The West African slaves who were brought to the city centuries ago brought the tradition with them as they had practiced the same ritual of celebrating life and death through music, dancing and decorations in their tribes. The Dahomeans of Benin and Yoruba of Nigeria both believed in providing a proper funerals for loved ones, which included music during the procession. Their now American ancestors continued the tradition by incorporating what was contemporary music at the time - brass bands. This tradition of brass bands is still popular and is, for most, the preferred way to lead a procession.

The proceedings for traditional jazz funerals are as follows. First, a band meets at the church or the funeral parlor where the actual services are conducted. Once the family has a chance to say their goodbyes the way many people around the country can identify with, they then close the casket and call the pall bearers to lift the body. For many who have attended funerals, they know that this is the time that the casket is taken to the hearse to then drive the deceased to the funeral home for the burial and final goodbyes. However, in the tradition of jazz funerals, when the services end, the jazz band leads the procession out of the building and slowly walks through the neighborhood and to the gravesite playing solemn musical selections from Christian hymns. Also, it is not uncommon to see a black wreath hanging from the door of the home of the deceased.

Once the band reaches the gravesite, the family participates in the burial process and then the band leads the procession from the gravesite silently. When everyone reaches a distance from the gravesite that respects the deceased, the lead trumpeter plays a riff to let the drummers know to begin drumming. Then the band begins to play again, this time in exuberance to celebrate the successful home-going of the deceased. At this time, the family and friends of the deceased begin to pull out their decorated umbrellas and dance in the streets as they return to home. As they move through the streets dancing to the music, many people hear the sounds and know a celebration is coming. As the procession reaches their area they often come out and help the family celebrate the home-going of their loved one.

Post-Hurricane Katrina

After Hurricane Katrina ravished so much of New Orleans, it became difficult for many funeral homes to stay in business. In addition to losing many of its building structures to the storm, New Orleans also lost much of its African American community. Many of the people who lived in the area were forced to relocate to another city, or even state, which means many of the businesses suffered - including the funeral homes. Currently, the businesses are trying to rebuild, but with subcontractors coming in to take over funerals after the storms, it became difficult for the funeral home owners to bounce back.

By losing its jazz funerals, New Orleans loses much more than business, it loses culture. The absence of music playing and parades moving through the neighborhoods leaves a void in the once vibrant community that not only knew how to celebrate life, but also death. Many businesses are trying to regain their spot in the city that they and their ancestors helped build and flourish. And overtime, many hope that there will be a strong resurgence of jazz funerals to maintain and strengthen an authentically culture-rich community.

Jeffrey Meier at Jam727 Enterprises at http://www.thearticlehome.com/ blog offers even more detailed information on a wide variety of topics.

Cremation Services

2008-11-18T00:50:00.000-08:00

Cremation Services Throughout The Religions
By Mike Selvon

Cremation services have had a long, tumultuous history but are a popular option today. The first cremation ceremony dates back approximately 26,000 years to Mungo Lake. Early Persians and Phoenicians cremated the deceased and in Ancient Greece and Rome, incineration was seen as a military honor.

Photo: pacerfuneralhome.com

However, the increasingly religious overtones made the practice punishable by death in the middle ages. In the 20th century, religious leaders started to change their minds, so long as religious services and affirmation of dogmatic principles was made. Obviously, the entire world cannot be a cemetery, so with the increasing population and space limitations, cremation is the most efficient manner of respectfully disposing of a body.

Eastern Orthodox religions especially look down upon cremation services and will sometimes deny religious service for the deceased if they willfully choose it. Catholics have just recently warmed up to the idea, as long as a funeral or burial is still undertaken. Protestants are more tolerant and sometimes even scatter ashes in a "garden of remembrance." Additionally, Lutherans, Methodists, Quakers, Scientologists and Universalists all allow cremations.

In Hinduism and Buddhism, cremation services (or "antim-samskara" meaning "last rites") are mandatory. It is believed that cremation detaches the fresh spirit from its earthly body and assists the passage to the next world. After a brief prayer service, the nearest male relative submerses the ashes in the holy Ganges River.

In Japan and Taiwan, 99% of the dead are cremated and the cremation ceremony is slightly different. Instead of pulverizing the bones to ash, the bone fragment remains are given to the family members and the relatives use chopsticks to pick up the fragments (starting with the feet and ending with the head) and transfer them to an urn.

The remains are sometimes buried in a company cemetery or family burial plot for $2 million yen. For $400,000 yen, the bones are placed in a "Graveyard Apartment," which is a locker-sized unit. In this technologically savvy way to commemorate the departed, mourners are greeted by touch-screens with videos, messages, a family tree and other information.

Whether Japanese, Buddhist, Catholic or Protestant, cremation services are widely recognized as a respectful way to say goodbye to the departed. You may want to schedule a viewing or a memorial service at a funeral parlor before the incineration takes place, to offer loved ones a chance to properly mourn the dead. You may then choose to bury the ashes, spread them in the sea, shoot them into space or place them in an urn on the mantel.

Learn more about cremation services at Mike Selvon portal. While you are there leave is a comment at our traditional funerals blog, and receive your FREE gift.

Funeral Poem

2008-11-13T23:13:00.000-08:00

Funeral Poem to Remember Deceased Loved Ones
By Dave Pipitone

How can an inspiring funeral poem help bring peace of mind and heart after a sudden death or loss of a loved one? Many people are very concerned with the fate and destiny of the deceased loved one. Often, fears arise about what happens after death and what may happen to our loved one. Is she safe? Is he happy? Will we ever meet or see or be with each other again?

Christians believe in eternal life with God. That belief is based upon an earthly life united with Jesus Christ which does not end when the body dies. The resurrection of Jesus from the dead destroyed death and opened the door to heaven for His followers. Even though a physical body dies, those who believe in Jesus have a strong conviction of hope that God will bring a dead person into a new existence of love and peace. Using a funeral poem to recall that a person is at home with God brings comfort when a loved one dies.

Funeral services offer a family and friends the chance to gather together in mutual support after the death of a loved one. Often, in the funeral parlor of a funeral home, the remains of a physical body of a loved one is present. Many families choose to use a casket to carry the body of their deceased loved one. Others choose a direct cremation option. Some Christians desire burial of the ashes, or placement in a mausoleum which honors the physical body and respects that one day it will be made new. Depending on the condition of the departed body, face-to-face mourning during a visitation is a positive step.

Memorial poems written by friends or families can help work through the grieving process. Funeral homes and churches may have stock poems that you can use to remember a deceased loved one. Religious good stores and websites offer comforting funeral memorial poems about life and death, and life after death. A family funeral can distribute and use these cards as part of the funeral service, as a reminder of the deceased loved one, or a small remembrance area at home.

Making funeral arrangements is often a difficult task. You are missing the presence of a loved one and the shock, grief and loss can be overwhelming. There are many decisions to make at the time of the funeral, including the religious services, the burial, the wake, contacting family and friends, writing and publishing an obituary, and many other details.

Long after the funeral flowers have faded and the services are over, the grieving process will continue. It is during those times that the help of community through a support group, church, friends and neighbors will be important. Family and friends can make a big difference sharing stories of a departed loved one's life. Tell different episodes that were funny, touching moments and special times when you felt very close and connected. Keeping a treasury of inspirational memorial poems is soothing.

Death does not end the connection with deceased loved ones; it merely changes how you connect through love, faith and hope. An inspirational funeral poem can help ease the pain of loss and eventually bring joy by remembering there is a connection with your deceased loved ones.

To find an inspirational funeral poem that you can share with friends and family, visit http://www.my3strands.com/eternity/index.html.

Burial Insurance

2008-11-09T00:36:00.000-08:00

Burial Insurance and Final Expense policy gives those you leave behind the freedom and flexibility to pay the remaining expenses and debts that may be outstanding. Burial Insurance also allow you to choose the coverage amount appropriate for your circumstances.

Burial Insurance - Advice From A Licensed Funeral Director
By Jerry R. Guy

As a funeral director I'm often asked by the public, "do I need burial insurance?" My stock reply is the usual, "that depends." I'm not trying to be insensitive or cute with my answer, but the truth is that it does depend on several factors in my opinion, but two most importantly.

Photo: gradedlife.com

I believe two of the most important factors are to consider who will make your final plans first, then how will those plans be funded? Simple questions yes, but among those most of us fail to ask ourselves or give serious thought to.

Choosing a person to handle your final arrangements can be done in reality by doing nothing at all. At your death in most states, lineage will decide who will have right of disposition. If no legal descendants are available to handle this duty most counties, townships and/or states will step in and have the final disposition done. This will usually be a direct burial or cremation as determined by the government body handling it. I recommend avoiding this possibility by selecting a family member or friend to entrust with this duty and to make sure they have the legal documents necessary to abide by your wishes. Also, be sure your chosen administrators will have access to final expense funds. Many problems can be avoided by making sure of this one thing. Tip: Burial insurance will in most cases let you designate the beneficiary. This allows you to make sure specific funeral and burial expense funds are in the control of your chosen administrator.

Secondly, give thought to the funding aspect of your final arrangements. Are you satisfied with your current funding (insurance, savings, etc.) to be sufficient and available when that time comes? Is it possible your current insurance might be needed to settle other expenses such as medical bills, estate taxes, etc.? Are you comfortable that your current insurance or savings will keep pace with funeral inflation costs? If you answered no to any of these questions, then you may want to consider additional insurance specifically for your final expenses. Tip: Burial insurance policies can be issued in small amounts to subsidize your existing insurance or larger amounts to cover total funeral and burial costs. In many cases it is also easier to qualify for in older age groups.

Does everyone need burial insurance? Certainly not, but as a funeral director I can tell you that many families I've assisted were able to honor a loved one's wishes only because that person had a burial insurance policy in force at the time of their death.

Take a few minutes and give this some thought. The attention and consideration you give these matters now will make a tremendous difference for those who eventually will do your final planning.

Jerry R. Guy is an active licensed funeral director and author. More information on how to save money planning funeral services can be found at his sites: http://www.integritypreneedsolutions.com/ or http://www.beforeplanningafuneral.com/

Prearranged Funeral

2008-11-05T06:41:00.000-08:00

Think About Prearranging Your Funeral
By Jeffrey Meier

It is the one thing we don't want to think about and it is the one thing that is evitable, our funeral. No matter how healthy we are, someday we will die. It is a sad but truthful fact of life. Once we face it, the better our life can be and once we face it, we should also consider how nice it would be for our loved ones, if we begin planning for that day now, by planning some or all the steps that we want to be taken for our final plans and prearranging for your funeral now.

Photo: catholicmemorials.com

There are many reasons why it is good to plan ahead and to plan for our funeral. One of the best reasons is that this keeps our family from doing it. You know when that dreadful day comes and we die, they are going to be heartbroken and possibly in shock. Do you want them to deal with every little hassle and every little detail of the ceremony? What you plan now is just one more thing they won't have to do later.

Another good reason for planning for your funeral and paying for it now is the fact that just likes everything else in life, the prices of burials rises with each passing year. If you have plans made, a burial spot paid, a casket bought, you will be saving money and your family won't have to spend any extra later.

Okay, you are decided this is a good idea; you want to plan on your burial. Where do you begin?

You might want to begin by making an appointment to speak to someone at your local funeral parlor. Ask if they have a prepaid package. If they do, go over each step with them. You can make every decision about the funeral or you can leave some of the decisions for your love ones to make. Some of the decisions that the director will probably ask you to make are:

* A casket. If saving money is one reason you are going ahead with your plans then you should consider buying one of these. Ask to see either the caskets themselves or pictures of the caskets available for purchasing.

* Whether you want your funeral to have a showing the night before the burial or just a brief showing before the actual ceremony.

* Preferences on who you wish to officiate at your service.

* Preferences on what type of music that is to be played.

* Picking out the thank you cards for your loved ones to send to those who help during the funeral and during their trying time.

* Display cards that guests take home with them that generally include a bible verse and a little information about you (date of birth, date of passing).

* Which newspapers you wish for your obituary to be recorded. This is something your loved ones will have to pay for at the time of the event.

* Where you wish to be buried. Once you make this decision, you should talk to the cemetery and see if it is possible to buy your plot and burial now. You may even be able to go ahead pay for your opening and closing. These, of course, are the main parts of any funeral cost.

* Once you have your burial plot paid for you, you may also want to consider buying your marker.

The average cost of a basic burial will run you close to $5,000. With each passing year, this price will increase. Consider doing your family a favor and consider prearranging your funeral.

Jeffrey Meier at Jam727 Enterprises at http://www.thearticlehome.com/ blog offers even more detailed information on a wide variety of topics.

Planning Ahead for Funerals

2008-10-29T09:06:00.001-07:00

The funeral plans that people make for themselves while living. Their primary objectives in planning ahead are to relieve their survivors of this burden and to ensure that the funeral is carried out according to their wishes.

Funerals - Planning Ahead to Take Care of Your Needs
By Jeffrey Meier

No one ever knows when that fateful day will come and you die. Many things must be done after a death including planning the funeral. People many times have nothing in place and they put the burden on their loved ones to make the plans. This is sometimes very hard as they are dealing with the grief of the loss and must make rational decisions at the same time. Having things already planned out is an easier way to go about it and let's look at some ways to do that.

Photo: canada.com

First and foremost funerals have really changed over the years as more funeral directors have come up with different ways to do things. Getting away from the traditional funeral seems something more of us want to do. One of the first decisions you will have to do is decide how you want to celebrate the ending of your life. Many people prefer a subdued type of service where others like to see happy times celebrating that person's life. The second thing is do you want to be cremated or have an open casket funeral. More and more people are being cremated as the costs are much lower and this lets people keep a part of the person with them after they die. Others prefer the other option and go with that.

Another very important thing that is always associated with funerals is the actual service. Some people want the service with their favorite pastor while more people than ever before have friends and family talk about the loved one who have just passed away. It's an individual thing, but it's something that you need to plan ahead for. Funerals are getting quite expensive with many costing more than 10,000 dollars. Keeping these expenses down is something funeral directors have been working on for many years now Prepayment arrangements and preplanning is something they are big advocates of. Today many of them will let you lock in today's prices if you buy now and not wait until you pass away. This could save you thousands of dollars in the long run.

Preplanning makes it much easier on everyone involved from the funeral directors to people who help take care of the arrangements after someone passes. Funerals are a way celebrates someone's life and what they meant to us. If you're not sure about preplanning is right, for you there is another option that you should consider. Many funeral directors have literature that will help you make the best decision possible for your current situation. This way before you make any type of preplanning arrangement you will know exactly how it works. They can also answer any questions you have about the process.

One thing that more people are starting to understand that death comes to us all eventually and they don't want to put any added burdens on others dealing with funeral arrangements. Funerals can take many different paths, but the one that is the easiest for everyone is the one that has already been planned. It gives people peace of mind and they can look back on a person's life without having to worry about the planning process. This is why planning the funeral is becoming a necessity anymore. Give yourself and your loved ones the peace of mind they deserve get yours planned out today so they can celebrate your life when that time comes.

Jeffrey Meier at Jam727 Enterprises at http://www.thearticlehome.com/ blog offers even more detailed information on a wide variety of topics.

Term Life Insurance

2008-10-27T04:29:00.000-07:00

How Much Term Life Insurance Should I Buy?
By Sharon Taylor

Term life insurance is an important part of the financial planning process. It serves to provide financially for all of the loved ones in your family should you happen to pass away unexpectedly. But one of the important things that people do not put enough consideration into is how much coverage is actually enough. When looking at term life insurance quotes, how can you determine how much is actually going to be needed by your family, if they no longer have you there to depend on? When shopping around for quotes, consider the following information so that you may make the right, informed decisions.

Identifying the Basics of Term Life Insurance
The first thing that you need to remember is that the main purpose of term life insurance is to completely circumvent all financial stress in the event of your death, which means the foremost purpose of your term life insurance policy should be income replacement to protect your family. With that having been said, it is now important for you to understand how your lost salary will impact your loved ones if you pass away.

Make a list including how much money is spent on daily expenses, elderly family care, childcare, education, food, clothing, the mortgage, car or other vehicle payments, various forms of debt including loans and credit cards.

Now you should consider the costs for your last expenses, such as your funeral, burial and any necessary medical or hospital costs. Funerals can easily cost several thousands of dollars and this doesn't even include any special requests or additional charges that may come up.

You must also consider your long-term expenses when researching term life insurance, including college tuitions, mortgage payments and a retirement fund for your spouse. If you want to leave any funds to local charities or organizations, this is also where those types of financial contributions would factor in.

Next you should determine your assets, since you have already determined your financial needs and the financial needs of your loved ones. Factor in all of your current assets, including cash, stocks, savings, bonds, pension, social security and real estate. Subtract your assets from your expenses to figure out how much life insurance are you going to need to purchase in order to ensure that your family is financially comfortable following your death.

What's next?
Now that you have a good idea of how much you are going to need, you should begin to shop around by looking at different term life insurance quotes to find out how much a policy is going to cost you. Make a point to sit down with a licensed term life insurance professional and they can walk you through the entire process.

It is extremely important that you take the time to do some homework when it comes to purchasing term life insurance, making sure you don't purchase coverage that is not needed or possibly purchasing too little coverage. Researching your insurance needs before hand will ensure that your family is safe and protected even if you pass away unexpectedly.

Sharon Taylor is a professional writer for eQUOTE Life Insurance eQUOTE is an excellent online resource providing online quotes for term life insurance to families in 42 states.

Planning a Trip and Enjoying

2008-10-24T16:11:00.000-07:00

Planning a Trip and Enjoying Your Holiday - A Travel Check List
By Patrick Chong

Common wisdom tells us that a death of a loved one and moving house are the two most stressful events a person can go through in the modern world. Not being an estate agent or a funeral director, I can't really comment on either of these - but I do feel qualified to discuss another stressful area - planning a trip and preparing to go on holiday.

It's ironic that a period of the year designed to promote rest and relaxation can actually be the cause of the most stress and strain present for the entire year. Things are usually completed in a rush, there is a lot to organise and there's packing time to consider - and that's not even taking into account the stress families will go through looking after the kids during all of this! For this reason, I've written a useful holiday check list to ensure you don't miss any of the small things which have a tendency to turn into bigger problems while you're away.

Simply work through my holiday check list and travel with peace of mind:

Before you go (planning your trip)

Always make sure you have full travel insurance, fit for the purpose of your trip and if you have an annual policy - check that it is still valid. Sometimes people who have purchased annual travel insurance forget to renew it, and assume they are covered whenever they wish to leave the country. Checking your travel insurance is right for the task can save you a lot of stress and tears in the long run, should the worst happen. It is also essential that you make your travel insurance company aware of any pre existing medical condition you have before you travel - although it may increase your costs in the short term, you may find yourself without cover if you later need to claim on such an illness without having warned them of it!
If you're traveling within the European economic region, or in Switzerland, you should get a free European Health Insurance Card (EHIC). It's a common misconception that this is as good as travel insurance for giving you free health care, but it can entitle you to reduced costs, meaning you are not left out of pocket while you wait to be reimbursed on your policy.
When planning a trip, make sure the vaccinations for both you and your family are up to date - especially if you're travelling outside of Europe. Your health care provider can advise you of any additional vaccinations you'll need depending on where you're going.
Fill in the contact details at the back of your passport for the next of kin, or the details of someone who can be contacted in case of an emergency.
Make sure you are aware of the immigration and custom laws of the country you are travelling to when planning a trip. A visa may take a little time to come through, so be prepared and allow enough time to complete this procedure. Also you should note that in many countries your passport needs to be valid for at least six months after the date you travel, so check this in advance.
Tell someone where you are going and when they should expect you back. Try to leave an itinerary and details of where you may be able to be contacted during your time abroad, in case of emergency.
If you are planning on driving in foreign climes, take your full driving licence with you. Make sure you are aware of the driving laws, licence requirements and driving conditions of your destination before you set off.

When you are there

Be aware of security and take sensible precautions. If an area is advised against travelling to, the chances are there's a good reason for it!
Keep a note of the local embassy, high commission or consulate number. Although the chances are you will not need it, it's always worth holding on to in the case of emergency.
Stay in regular contact with your family and friends, especially if you are travelling alone. This will ensure they're always aware of where you are and should be, and can ensure they can contact you in the case of emergency.
Respect local customs and behave and dress appropriately. Although unlikely to cause disastrous problems, as a guest in a foreign culture, it's only polite to try and fit in.

On return

Inform family and friends of your safe return, to end their worries and ensure no bogus emergency calls are made.
If you need to make any claims against your travel insurance make sure this is done at the earliest opportunity, for maximum chance of getting a positive result.

I hope this travel check list has been helpful. Although planning a trip in this much detail may seem like a lot of hassle, dotting all the 'I's and crossing all the 'T's, it really is worth doing. In the end, following this holiday check list to the letter will ensure you are more relaxed and prepared to enjoy your holiday, and should the worst happen you'll be well equipped to deal with it.

Patrick Chong is the Managing Director of Journey's Travel. Their commercial travel insurance website, Insuremore, offers cheap travel insurance packages for families, singles, children and skiers with free cover against acts of terrorism and a quick and easy online claims feature.